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Istilldon'twantsteam.

If it weren't for Steam I wouldn't have Besiege and I'd be considerably less happy because of it.

Steam is for steamy people.



That is potentially the strangest thing I have ever said.

How come you never visit the chatbox? Heck, how come most of you don't visit the chatbox?

I actually meant Sar and you other weirdos. You know who you are. Maybe I don't. But you do.

If I may speak on this, I find it relatable myself. I'll try not to turn this around and make it about me, but your situation is relatable enough that I want to show you my own situations, so that you'll see how much I understand.

For one, don't feel bad about not having your license yet. I didn't get mine until I was 18. I share the same fear of driving. Fear of driving is definitely not irrational. Just a few weeks ago, my best friend lost someone she had gone to school with to a car accident and the tragedy that had unfolded was awful. Since then I have been far more attentive while driving.

Things not going my way is something I experience day by day, and I can relate to the feeling of total confusion and frustration with the way things work out. I struggle with moderate depression and severe social anxiety, and I am far more susceptible to feelings of defeat and torturous, self-degrading thoughts that some. It interferes with every aspect of my life and has prevented me from getting jobs until this summer, when I am forcing myself to get one to get my parents off my back and to pay for my insurance.

I am an extremely analytical person (I doubt any normal person could even comprehend how analytical I am). I believe it is this very mindset that is the source of my problems. I overthink things to the point I confuse myself. I cannot function without the perfect plan, and ever tiny and minuscule detail is crucial to my happiness. When life throws me around and ruins my plans, gives me things I did not see coming, it destroys me and it's almost like I can see no good or positive thing from the situation. The confusion you feel is something I know all too well.

There's nothing wrong with liking someone. You had more strength than I do when you confessed this. I am usually too distrustful of people to ever, ever admit to them any of my romantic feelings simply because of how many times I have been double-crossed in the past. So take strength in that, that you had the guts to even admit it, whereas someone like me denies such things. I often don't even tell my best friends, because that is how much of a distrusting person I am. I'd be much quicker to admit my romantic feelings for someone IRL to all of you here on the internet than someone I physically know. In fact I've even done that, I've gotten relationship advice from Whoster and Celo before. The anger and stress that I get from all this anxiety, depression, and caged fear from real life, I believe is a major contributing factor to my past infamous activities on the web, which I am trying hard to forget.

Sairei wrote:

This picture could not be any more true. It sums up about 100% of any relationship I have ever been in, romantic or otherwise. To give you an even clearer picture of me, I have never had a girlfriend. The closest thing I had was way back in middle school, for two weeks, but that hardly counts now. Each time I have ever tried to get involved with someone, and that number is large, I have experienced the same message displayed in that picture. I have been at the bottom hand of a plethora of one-sided relationships. I try to avoid any sort of icky romancy cliche lines when I say this, but the only way I can say it and be accurate is if I say that I am an incredibly passionate (again for lack of a better word) person (not just in romantic affairs, mind you. I also take passion in my art (none of which anyone here has actually seen and cannot be found on my dA), my writings, etc.). I often put in far more care and effort than the other person does, and I go above and beyond, honestly. I'm not bragging or anything, but I honestly do my best, even too much sometimes, to prove that I am an ideal mate, capable of caring and providing as much support and kindness as possible and never ever falling into what many females see as a typical male complex (i.e. Being a jerk, cheating, being a "pig", etc). At a certain point of pouring out efforts, I become fed up with being given next to nothing, sometimes deliberately nothing, in response, and move on. Well, now I see I am rambling a bit. But as far as the "leader" of this group goes, tell him to get over it. At that point, that's what I would do.

Like you, I have many friend groups. Although recently I have been moving more and more into a specific one, which is good. I understand how complicated that is, the groups. I have been a drifter and a floater my whole life until just now.

In other words, I understand your social complication, though mine I believe has a slightly different twist to it. I understand your fears completely. I have crippling anxiety, especially in the social aspect.

If you need to talk about anything, I'm always open. If you can't reach me on Steam, pm me here. If I'm not here, you're welcome to whip up a quick account over on RG and PM or chat with me there. I'm usually always there. It sort of acts as my "main site" now.

Remember that famous song, "You don't always get what you want..."

Still lurkin'

Cool.